A Dragon Infested Viking Life Would Be Easier
by ManaketeSmoocher
Summary: [DISCONTINUED] As a depressed boy entering high school with no friends and undiagnosed autism, it's understandable that Hiccup would wish he were the protagonist of his favorite franchise. But alas, he's just struggling with his own mind. (Modern AU, Human!Dragons, Autistic!Hic, ADD!Toothless, Schizophrenic!Valka) (Warning: Hiccup/male!OC maybe)
1. From One Nightmare to Another

**My ending author's note is kind of important to this fic, and I'd appreciate it if you stuck around.**

* * *

 _Hiccup was in the backseat of his mother's car, strapped in tightly and making quiet baby sounds. He was perhaps one year old, and was generally not a fan of screaming‒something he was sure his parents were happy for. In the front seat, his mother, Valka, was driving, one hand on the steering wheel as she spoke to him, regardless of whether or not he knew what she was saying. His father was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he was at work, like he always was. Hiccup could hardly remember what he looked like at that moment, though that wasn't a huge surprise considering the one year he'd apparently lived thus far._

 _He couldn't see out the window, his seat was too low for that. All he could see was the sky, covered in thick clouds as it always seems to be, heavy with rain that refused to fall. The windows were rolled down, letting the cold, humid air whip at his face. It was harsh. He didn't like it, but he refrained from shrieking and crying. Crying hurt his throat and burned his eyes. In the air, he could see dragons soaring through the sky, some as small as mice, some as large as mountains, and others somewhere in between. They were beautiful and he reached up with his tiny little hands, wanting to hold onto one and fly away._

 _His mother let out a startled cry, and the car swerved violently to avoid hitting something, skidding on ice and flying off the road. Hiccup still refused to scream, but he felt silent tears freeze his face. A somewhat large dragon, reddish in coloration and likely the cause of the crash, crawled over and he focused on that instead of the intense pain in his left leg. Somehow the kind, owlish face turned to something monstrous and sneered._

" _Poor, miserable little Hiccup with the insane mother and the missing leg and a daddy who hates him so much for sending his wife away that he spends all his time away from home." It was his cousin Snotlout's voice coming from the dragon._

' _No!' Hiccup tried to say. 'He's just busy with being mayor, it has nothing to do with me!' But he was a useless baby. None of the words came out, and Dragon Snotlout laughed harshly in his face._

" _Not even your crazy grandpa loves you! Not that he matters. He's practically dead on his feet!"_

 _Hiccup watched helplessly as the dragon transformed into the familiar tall, spindly figure that was his beloved grandfather before crumpling to the ground, moaning about how he wished he'd never wasted his time on that stupid Hiccup. Hiccup's breath came in short puffs, and he was trapped in the car with a mother who shouldn't have been dead. He could have sworn Valka hadn't died in the crash, so why was she dead now? The pain in his leg was searing, and the contrast of freezing tears on his face did nothing to soothe him as he sobbed at the crumpled form of his grandfather. A large hulking man he knew could only be his father appeared, though he couldn't distinctly recall him_ not _being there before. As Hiccup cried for him to help, he received the most disappointed scowl he'd ever seen. Stoick opened the front door and carried Valka's body out. He glared at Hiccup, and a loud, incessant beeping sound came from all around him, causing him to cover his ears with his hands._

* * *

Hiccup shot up, sitting as he tried to regain his breath, wiping his now cold sweat from his forehead. He tried to take deep breaths, right hand clumsily turning his phone's alarm off as his left automatically grabbing for his mother's locket, which he always kept around his neck. The smooth metal was cool, and he undid the latch, looking at an old family photo taken with him, his mother, and his father before the accident. He closed it, and opened it again, and closed it, and opened it. The soft click the latch made every time soothed his racing heart, and he made a blind grab for his phone.

It was five past six in the morning, meaning he'd taken about five minutes to calm down from the nightmare he knew had been on its way when he went to sleep at midnight. Hiccup couldn't remember a night he'd had without some sort of unpleasant dream invading his sleep, and he hugged himself. He no longer felt the need to open and close the locket, but he kept it in his hand, the metal now warm from his handling. Forest green eyes looked to the ground, where he'd pushed his dragon plush off his bed as he was sleeping.

A frown made its way onto his face, and he slowly lowered himself to the ground before crawling over to her, dusting her off. She was an old thing- possibly even older than himself. His mother had made her for him before the accident. He hugged her, burying his face into the soft fabric. He felt guilty as he noticed tear drops on the faded teal material. This dragon didn't want his tears. Nobody did, really. He set her on his bedside table, taking the time to adjust her wings more comfortably before crawling over to his prosthetic foot and putting it on. A yawn escaped him, and he swayed slightly upon standing up, putting a hand on his forehead as his vision swam. Everything was blurry, but that was because he didn't own glasses. Hiccup knew he had bad eyesight (likely from late nights looking at bright screens), but he never told his father because he didn't want to look like even more of a nerd.

By the time he made the bed, it was six fifteen. He moved the dragon plush to rest on his pillow as almost an afterthought before going to feed his dragon. Well, lizard. He was a bearded dragon though, so he liked to think it counted. He smiled as he fed him then walked to his closet, not completely sure if he was imagining it when he heard him thank him. His wardrobe was really unremarkable, and he pulled out the usual undergarments, a pair of sweatpants, and a t shirt before grabbing his favorite (well, only) olive green hoodie from its spot on the back of his computer chair and walking out of his dim room, where the only light came from a dragon nightlight he'd gotten as a young child and never bothered to remove. It had become part of his routine to switch it on at ten at night and turn it off after eating breakfast. The hallway was darker than his room, and he felt along the wall until he reached the restroom. He went about the usual morning routine, washing his (in his opinion) disgusting face before brushing his teeth and starting the shower. His shower was as short as he could make it, and he was mindful of the fact that he was missing his leg from the calf down. After drying off, he got dressed, dumping his pajamas in the dirty clothes hamper before returning to his room.

It was seven in the morning by the time he logged onto his computer, and he was unsure as to why he did so, considering the fact that none of his friends would be awake this early during summer vacation. Force of habit, perhaps. He always went to bed at midnight, woke up at six, got ready for the day, and checked his computer at seven. Not in the mood for anything particularly digital, he glanced around at his latest project. It was a model of a small village that didn't really exist, on a land called Hooligan Island. All he'd done so far was make the island, and start some small figurines based on his two online friends and the characters they role played as, but he had broad plans to add the entire population of the village based on the people he knew around town, along with their houses and dragons. His eyes fell on No-Name, who was his friend 'ManMer's (they usually just called him Mer) character, and was somehow even scrawnier than Hiccup himself and had a myriad of health problems. The other figure was the small girl his friend 'Camicazi' played as. Hiccup suspected she was more of a self insert than No-Name was, but it was completely excusable because Camicazi was so eccentric and crazy it was hard to believe she was even real.

His goal for the day was to paint the base colours onto the figures of his friends. He would have to send them pictures when he was completely finished with the making of them, their houses, and their dragons. He could only hope to do so before the holiday season. Not that any of them particularly resonated with any religion, but it was hard _not_ to get caught up in the Christmas cheer considering how commercialized it was. He would finish the base colours before eating, he decided as he put a red coat of paint on Camicazi's outfit. Hiccup's determination to get everything done impeccably caused him to finish around eight, and after he put the figurines in a safe location to dry, he massaged his hands lightly. It was a little hard to believe he'd been painting for one hour, considering how little he'd actually done. He supposed he'd be working on the model of the fictional town for quite some time, due to the sheer amount of people he would be making.

With a sigh, Hiccup got up from his spot at what he liked to call his workbench, stretching and neglecting to pop his back despite his body's silent screaming for him to do so. But he wouldn't. The sound disturbed him. He made his way towards the bathroom to clean off whatever tiny flecks of paint he'd managed to get on his hands before returning to his room and picking up his lovely lizard (his name was Wodensfang, named after a dragon in his favorite book series). A tantalizing smell reached his nose, and he followed it downstairs, finding the predictable sight of his older brother cooking breakfast.

Toothless sent a smile down at him, and Hiccup nodded in return. Nobody who looked at the two would ever think they were brothers, but Hiccup supposed that was fair. Toothless was adopted, after all, and they looked nothing alike. While Hiccup was scrawny, short, freckled, pale, a little pathetic, generally miserable looking, with brown hair, somewhat oily skin, poor eyesight, and crooked teeth that resulted in his wearing braces going on two years now, Toothless was much the opposite. His skin was dark and smooth, his hair even more so. He was taller than Hiccup by a few inches, and though he wasn't exactly muscular, he at least looked as if he could hold his own in a fight. His eyes were perfect, as well as his teeth. The name really came from when they'd adopted him and he'd been missing multiple teeth, but they'd grown back in quite straight. He almost seemed to exude confidence, which was something Hiccup was severely lacking in.

And that was ignoring their very different style of dress. While Hiccup dressed for comfort, with sweatpants, a hoodie he never removed outside of sleeping, and comfortable shirts, Toothless seemed to have the need to dress snazzy, all the time. He was fond of buttoned shirts, vests, ties, skirts, and dresses. It seemed he had not a care in the world for what others thought of him, and his outfit was never complete without a sparkly headband of some sort. He loved to accessorize, and took full advantage of the time Old Wrinkly took him to get his ears pierced. It was a bit impressive, honestly. The look was always completed with a fake dragon tail that constantly reminded Hiccup that his brother was, in fact, a scaly. The two of them really were quite different, their only similarity being in their green eyes, though Toothless's were certainly brighter.

"Hungry?" Toothless asked as he finished cooking breakfast, serving two plates before Hiccup could even say anything. He left the extra food to cool as they ate before he would put it in the refrigerator.

"The food is touching." Hiccup responded, glancing down at the plate and trying to move the sausage away from the eggs. Not that it would help. The food was already tainted. He wouldn't be eating this. Wodensfang might try, but Hiccup wouldn't let him.

"What?" Toothless sat next to him, looking at his plate. "Oh shoot, sorry, that one is mine." He switched their plates, and Hiccup made sure they traded forks as well. The old one had touched the wrong food.

Satisfied with his breakfast, he began to eat it one part at a time. First the toast (which he spread strawberry preserves on), then the eggs, then lastly the sausage. The two of them ate without Hiccup saying anything, and he finished by drinking an entire glass of apple juice. Glancing at Toothless's plate, he suspected the slightly older teen had just eaten whatever he stabbed with his fork in whatever order. He couldn't imagine doing that. The whole time, his brother had been prattling on about, well, Hiccup honestly wasn't completely sure. Something about a new fish recipe he'd discovered. Hiccup really hoped Toothless had given up on trying to make kæstur hákarl. He'd nearly thrown up upon hearing what it was- fermented shark. Once, Toothless had used his own money to buy a small bag of it, and Hiccup refused to let him bring the offending dish into the house. It was a warranted reaction. The stench had been so awful Hiccup felt the inside of his nose burning for weeks after, and that was without him even opening the sealed plastic bag!

"Hookfang said he would totally catch me a shark on his next fishing trip with the family."

"If you're still planning on making that hákarl stuff, please do it miles away from civilization." Hiccup deadpanned, and Toothless devolved into snickers.

"Okay, I'll do it under Snotlout's house then." The older boy said as he caught his breath.

"Please, Aunt Freda doesn't deserve that. The poor woman would faint."

"Like she wouldn't do that on her own anyways."

"Well, you have a point there."

The two boys had grins on their faces, and Hiccup took the moment to appreciate how easy it was to joke around with Toothless. Sure, he had his two other friends, but he'd never seen their faces, or heard their voices, and one could only gather so much from the written word. He didn't understand their mannerisms like he did Toothless, and at times his misunderstandings ruined the jokes they were trying to make. That did nothing to help his anxiety, and he usually left the conversation at that point to try and think about everything he must have done wrong. Regardless, he never had to worry about that sort of thing with Toothless. Toothless made sense. Toothless always smiled in a particular way and spoke in a different sort of voice when he was joking, and Hiccup could almost always tell when he was messing around.

"Oh." Toothless spoke up as he finished cleaning the dishes, checking his phone. "Hooky wants some girl time before tonight." Hiccup blinked.

"Oh." That was one of the jokes Hiccup never understood. Toothless had made it clear that Hooky was short for Hookfang, but for some reason he always joked about having a girls night out (or something along those lines) when he used the name. "Okay."

Despite his lack of understanding the joke, it still meant he would probably be alone until… tonight? What was happening tonight…? Hiccup felt a lump form in his throat, and he couldn't believe he'd forgotten. Family dinner was tonight. The horrid event that happened every other month. He never had to go unless it was at his own house (he suspected Old Wrinkly had a hand in convincing his father not to force him), but tonight it unfortunately _would_ be at his house. Toothless hung out with Hiccup on the couch after he momentarily returned to his room to turn his nightlight off, and they watched Hiccup's favorite show for the umpteenth time as Toothless waited for his ride. His ride came in the form of a bright (too bright, really) red sports car Hiccup knew belonged to Hookfang. Inside, he could see Stormfly and Meatlug; Astrid's older sister who was Hookfang's best friend/roommate, and Fishlegs's older brother who he wasn't entirely sure the relation to the other members of the car. He didn't know any of them very well, really. Not even Hookfang, who was his cousin.

In fact, he barely even knew Astrid and Fishlegs. Sure, Astrid was one of the most popular girls in school with natural beauty and a talent for just about every sport she played, but that was kind of the exact reason Hiccup never spoke to her. She was way too good to even look at him, let alone be his friend. Add that to the fact that she'd thrown some rather harsh remarks his way in the past only served to make him avoid her at all costs. Fishlegs was a completely different story, though. He was a large boy, but he really wouldn't hurt a fly. Hiccup had never had classes with him in middle school, but suspected the two of them may have gotten along if Fishlegs hadn't been so eager to cater to Snotlout's every need and do his homework to avoid getting properly bullied. It was a shame, really. He'd always wanted to be friends with Fishlegs.

Shaking that unpleasant thought away, he focused on the television, fully invested in the show he was watching despite this being at least his fourth time seeing the episodes. Every time he watched, he thought of new ideas and insights into what the characters were thinking. He found he understood these characters better than he understood most people. Hiccup was sure it was sometime around three when the sound of the door being unlocked informed him that his father must be home. He attempted to shrink into the couch cushions, Wodensfang on his lap as he vaguely recalled his nightmare from the previous night. True, he couldn't remember anything about it, but he could have sworn his father was involved somehow. Stoick Haddock glanced to the living room to see his son's head of brown hair peeking out from the back of the couch and raised his eyebrows.

"Hiccup?" Stoick said, and Hiccup immediately paused the show, the sound of overlapping voices sounding much louder than they should.

"Hey, dad…" His voice was little more than a mumble, and he continued to stare at the television, green eyes focused on the black dragon on screen as he rubbed Wodensfang's scales. Stoick didn't respond for some time, and Hiccup found the silence to be comforting.

"Have you, er… Have you been there all day?" Stoick asked.

"Ahh…"

Hiccup continued staring at the dragon, frown making its way onto his face. No, he hadn't been sitting on the couch _all_ day, but he could only recall mentioning his interest in modeling to his father one time. His father had gruffly dismissed him, telling him the hobby was useless unless his models were working to rebuild the orphanage that had recently burned to the ground. Hiccup supposed his father disapproved of his interest in modeling, and had kept it as hidden as he could from that moment on. That was soon before they'd adopted Toothless. Toothless had lost his leg in that orphanage fire. Realizing his father was still expecting a response, Hiccup cleared his throat.

"Y-yeah, just… just been sitting here all day, watching, ah…"

Hiccup suddenly felt embarrassed for watching this show again. It was technically a children's show, but he'd been so invested in the books and movies that he'd practically leapt for joy when the tv series began. Not that his father ever showed any interest in the franchise. Sure, he'd read the first few books to Hiccup when he was barely old enough to walk, but Stoick got busy with work and spent more and more time out of the house. Old Wrinkly took over and read the rest of the series to him, and he wound up revisiting the books on his own despite them definitely being for younger audiences.

"Aren't you a little old for that show?" Stoick asked as he sat beside his son on the couch. Hiccup tried to press himself against the opposite end, feeling very small. Wodensfang squirmed a bit, and Hiccup realized he was holding him just a bit too tightly.

"Toothless went out with Hookfang." Hiccup said out of nowhere, wanting to change the subject before Stoick could say anything especially negative about the show. He received an odd sort of look he wasn't sure how to interpret, and he immediately thought maybe he shouldn't have said that.

"Well, it's good to see those two are still getting along. Especially now that both of them are starting college." Stoick beamed with pride. Toothless had proven himself to be something of a genius, skipping two grades and earning all his high school credits early. Now he was entering college despite only being fifteen years old. It was more than a little impressive. "You planning on taking a page out of his book this year?" Hiccup frowned.

"Why would I destroy his books?" He asked with genuine confusion, and his cheeks flushed when his father sighed.

"Nevermind. I was wondering if you would try to follow his lead in how you approach school this year."

"Oh." Hiccup still wasn't sure how that had anything to do with ripping pages out of books. "Umm…" He trailed off, not wanting to think about school.

Stoick realized he probably wasn't going to get an answer out of his son, so he stood from the couch and walked to the kitchen, where he'd deposited the lunch he picked up. He called over his shoulder to Hiccup, stating that he'd gotten sandwiches from Gobber's place. Hiccup's answer was too quiet to hear, so Stoick continued on to say he hadn't known what to get him, so he'd just asked Gobber. Hiccup had to breathe a sigh of relief at that, because he knew Gobber would remember what he always ordered. He wasn't expecting his father to return to his spot on the couch, balancing two different plates of sandwiches and two glasses of water. The fourteen year old quickly took his plate and glass, not wanting his father to drop anything. Stoick received a blank stare from his son before gesturing to the television, which was still paused on a frame of the black dragon. It took Hiccup perhaps a bit too long to realize his father was expecting him to resume the episode.

"The latest season?" Stoick asked.

Hiccup nodded, not sure whether to pay attention to his father, the television, or eating. He picked at the sandwich, careful not to get any crumbs on himself. Stoick thankfully fell silent, watching the show. Due to Hiccup's obsession with the series, Stoick had a rather surprising knowledge of it for someone who wasn't exactly invested in it. It was understandable, considering how one of his sons was near constantly watching or reading something regarding it, and his other son was almost just as obsessed with dragons in general. Both of them were rather obsessed with dragons. Sometimes he wished dragons were a less present thing in his life, which was an admittedly strange thing to wish for in a world where dragons were fictional creatures. By the time the episode finished, Hiccup had barely touched his sandwich, and Stoick noted that he began eating it properly after the credits ended. The boy wasn't much a fan of multitasking, he'd noticed.

"Is that what you're wearing tonight?" Stoick asked, glancing down at Hiccup's outfit.

"Yeah, is there a problem with that?" Hiccup frowned, tugging at the sleeves of his hoodie.

"No, of course not." He assured, though he would be lying if he said he didn't wish Hiccup would at least try to dress nicer when the family was coming to visit. Not that he expected a suit or anything, but he could at least wear shoes… "They should be getting here around seven. That leaves you three hours to do…" Stoick waved his arm vaguely. "Whatever it is you do."

"Okay." Hiccup responded simply, and the conversation died.

Stoick stood from the couch and gathered their plates and glasses, feeling unfulfilled as he went to the kitchen. Hiccup waited until his father was gone before breathing out an odd sigh of relief, his posture relaxing. Toothless was easy to talk to. Toothless was familiar. Stoick was not. He decided he wasn't particularly interested in continuing his watching of the show now that his father was home, so he closed Netflix, picked Wodensfang up, and walked to his room, stumbling slightly on the stairs. He was glad nobody saw that. Well, nobody but Wodensfang and a rather serious looking picture of Stoick's parents (he called them Afi and Amma‒the Icelandic words for grandparents), but he was pretty sure Wodensfang didn't particularly care. Hiccup flipped the picture around, not wanting to feel his grandparents' judgemental stares sooner than he had to. Sometimes he wanted them to poof out of existence.

Now back in his room, Hiccup put Wodensfang in his vivarium, where he decided to take a nap. Hiccup returned to his computer, noting that Camicazi was still offline. ManMer was on, though he couldn't think of anything in particular to say to him. Hiccup checked the time, reminding himself that he only had around three hours before his family would arrive. The decision on what to do with that time eluded him for a moment, and he checked his email despite not really knowing what he was looking for. He received a notification that something he'd been reading updated, and spent his time reading that before deciding he was in a creative mood. After finishing the chapter, he closed the tab and took a binder out of his bookshelf. The item had a drawing of a dragon he'd done some time ago slipped in the front cover, and he took a moment to appreciate it before opening it and proving he was a huge nerd by working on the next section of his Dungeons and Dragons campaign he was in charge of writing. Not that there was anyone he was playing it with besides Toothless. Both of them controlled multiple characters because Hiccup's social anxiety made him dread the very idea of meeting Toothless's friends, and it's a very bad and possibly boring idea to play such a game with only two characters.

Some hours later, Hiccup heard the front door opening, and checking the time revealed it was nearly seven. He heard Toothless and Hookfang's voices, and the two older boys were likely helping Stoick with last minute preparations. It was with a sigh that Hiccup closed his binder, putting it back on his shelf. He slipped his Rubik's cube into his hoodie pocket before hesitantly exiting his room, wishing he could take his dragon of a lizard with him. He didn't want his father yelling at him, though. He hated yelling. It made his head throb and ears hurt. The picture of Stoick's parents had been flipped back around, and Hiccup automatically turned it backwards again.

"Hiccup!" Toothless called his name out, waving cheerfully. Hiccup managed to return the gesture, albeit with significantly less enthusiasm.

"Oh, hey Hiccup." Hookfang greeted him with less cheer, but he still had a pleasant enough smile on his face.

Hiccup felt somewhat intimidated by the eighteen year old. He was definitely taller than him, though that went without saying. Somewhat messy black hair sat atop his head, and dark eyes he didn't know how to read had a habit of freaking him out. Hookfang was tall and muscular, much like his father Spitelout. There was something off about him that Hiccup couldn't put his finger on, and he recalled the time Hookfang had shown up at their house completely unannounced two years prior and insisted he needed to speak with Toothless privately. The two of them hadn't left Toothless's room until the next morning, and when they did Hookfang had a look of relief on his face. Hiccup never received an explanation. He had to admit that at least Hookfang had never gone out of his way to make him uncomfortable, though Hiccup managed that all on his own so it was all for naught. True, he wasn't particularly cruel to him, but he never said anything when Spitelout insulted his nephews, and Hiccup would choose to be alone over hanging out with Hookfang any day.

The large table had already been set up in the dining room, so Hiccup took his usual seat and pulled his Rubik's cube out. He always left it completed, so he closed his eyes and blindly messed it up before setting about solving it again. Toothless sat beside him, not stopping his conversation with Hookfang. Hiccup thought he heard something about chemistry, and he hoped it had nothing to do with hakárl. He glanced up every time he heard the front door, waiting for Old Wrinkly to show up. Old Wrinkly was Hiccup's maternal grandfather, and he practically raised him when Stoick was spending so much time out of the house because of work. He was, without a doubt, Hiccup's favorite relative.

Hiccup sunk in his seat as time passed, and he continued to use the Rubik's cube, the constant clicking sounds familiar and comforting. It was probably only fifteen after, but time seemed to drag on. The room seemed stuffed full of people, and Hiccup regretted leaving his headphones in his room. The overlapping sounds overwhelmed him, and he found himself pulling his hood up, returning all his attention to the cube. His concentration was ruined when someone hit him rather violently on the back of the head, laughing loudly. Hiccup's face hit the table, not having been prepared in the slightest. He slowly sat back up, rubbing his forehead.

"Hello, Snotlout." Hiccup greeted quietly. "I see you haven't gotten any weaker since the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, well, somehow you got even lamer." He grunted as he sat on Hiccup's other side.

The older generation always wanted the kids to sit together. They had a sort of unofficial assigned seating, with Hiccup always between his brother and his least favorite cousin. Hookfang was always on Toothless's other side, and the youngest Jorgenson, Adelaide, always sat by Snotlout. Hiccup wished Adelaide was more mellow. Sure, she usually didn't mess with him, but that didn't mean he particularly liked her. Hiccup adjusted his hood, hunching over a little in his seat as he started chewing his lower lip. He had solved the Rubik's cube several times, and had been about to mess it up again when he saw several serving plates of food being placed on the table.

Across the table, he saw that Old Wrinkly had arrived without him noticing. The spindly old man sent him a smile, one which Hiccup returned, then raised his brows and tapped his lips. Not sure what that meant, he repeated the gesture, but Old Wrinkly shook his head and made a wiping motion with his hand. Hiccup brought his hoodie sleeve to his mouth, and when he pulled it away he realized he'd made himself bleed. His cheeks flushed, and he pressed his sleeve back to his lips, hoping to stop the bleeding as well as prevent anyone else from noticing. This wasn't the first time he'd chewed his lip to the point of it bleeding.

Toothless caught his attention, telling him that Stoick wanted him to pull his hood off and put his Rubik's cube away. He did so reluctantly, feeling goosebumps smother his arms as Toothless served him a plate. It seemed he'd stopped the bleeding well enough, as Toothless said nothing about it. His brother was mindful as usual when it came to serving his food, as he had avoided the things he hated and made sure nothing was touching. Hiccup didn't feel hungry, however, and he stared down at his food. The first half hour was always the worst as people caught up on each other's lives, and the overlapping voices were loud. He felt a headache grow, and he held his hands over his ears though it did nothing to help. His eyes didn't move from his plate, and if anybody had tried to talk to him he didn't notice.

There was a blessed lull in noise, and Hiccup pulled the Rubik's cube back out despite what his father had said. This time, he kept it out of sight, under the table and on his lap. Checking his phone revealed that the hellish half hour was over. Everyone was done catching up for the most part. Now came the terrible questions, but he could handle those. He couldn't handle the noise. It felt like people were screaming directly into his ears. Old Wrinkly made a silly face at him. He held back a laugh.

"So, Hookfang and Toothless are starting college this year?" One of Stoick's cousins prompted, looking at the two boys. Hookfang had a lazy grin on his face.

"Yeah, that's right." He said, drinking water and probably wishing it was some kind of alcohol. "No idea what I'm gonna major in, though."

"And what about you, Toothless?" Someone asked, and Toothless thought for a moment.

"I'm trying to leave my options open." He said carefully. "Maybe I'll be an astronaut." Toothless laughed, so Hiccup assumed that was supposed to be funny.

"Yeah, whatever though." Snotlout dismissed that conversation. " _I_ got accepted into the varsity football team." He seemed rather triumphant, and various family members voiced their praise. Snotlout was only going to be freshman, after all, as he was the same age as Hiccup. It was impressive.

"And what about Hiccup?" Stoick's father asked, clearly only wanting to make the boy uncomfortable.

"Umm…" Hiccup hunched his shoulders, trying to think of anything– _anything_ his family would be proud of. "Well, I managed to run for a mile without stopping." That was true. Snotlout had been chasing him. It wasn't fun. "A-and I mean, I'm starting… high school…" He looked down at his lap, uncomfortable with all the states on him.

"So you've done nothing." His grandmother huffed, and Hiccup shrunk in his seat, suddenly realizing the soft clicking of the Rubik's cube hadn't gone unnoticed. Stoick shot him a look, and he was silently forced to put the cube away.

"I-I mean, I wouldn't say _that_ , I've been…" Hiccup trailed off, chewing his lip.

"Hiccup, you're bleeding." Toothless pointed out, and Hiccup blushed, his hand shooting up to his mouth.

He got up without a word and left the room, heading upstairs. On his way to the bathroom, he flipped the portrait of Stoick's parents around (he hated feeling their judgemental eyes disapproving of his very existence). He looked in the mirror, focusing on his lip before splashing water on his face. Glancing down at his left sleeve revealed more blood, and he quickly removed the garment, scrubbing it with cold water in the sink to get the offending liquid out before it could stain. Hiccup could hear conversation resume downstairs as he stopped the water, and he debated what to do. He didn't want to wear the hood now that it was wet, but he didn't want to be around people without it. A knock on the door startled him, and he was relieved when he heard Toothless's voice.

"Hiccup? You okay in there?" The older boy tapped his foot as he waited for a response.

"Yeah, just-" Hiccup opened the door slightly. "I had to wash the blood out of my sleeve." He reached up to fiddle with his locket as Toothless nodded. The dark skinned boy was shifting his weight between his feet. "You don't have to wait for me, you know." Toothless looked hesitant. "Seriously, you can go." Hiccup insisted.

"Mmm…" Toothless frowned, then opened the door fully and pulled Hiccup in for a tight hug. "Afi and Amma are dumb and you've worked so hard on your model and our campaign's story, not to mention all the paintings you've done. You've done way more than nothing."

Hiccup allowed himself to melt into his brother's hug, the tightness feeling _right_ in a way he couldn't describe. He mumbled his thanks into his shoulder, and when Toothless pulled away, they smiled at each other. Hiccup assured him that he would be downstairs in a bit, and that he should go on ahead. Toothless noticeably hesitated, but he did leave, and Hiccup went to his room. He walked over to Wodensfang's vivarium and took the moment to feed him, checking the temperature of the enclosure before giving him an affectionate scratch. As he checked the time, he decided he would go downstairs at eight, leaving him about ten minutes. He hung his hoodie to dry and rifled through his closet, trying to find a suitable replacement. It was with great resignation that he put his arms through a zip-up hoodie his father had bought him a couple years back. He'd never worn it before, because at that point he'd already been wearing his green hood for years. It had been quite large on him when he first got it at the ripe young age of ten. Even now it was still kind of baggy, and he suspect he would never fit into it properly unless he somehow wound up being six feet tall. Not that _that_ would ever happen. Toothless had gotten a matching, deep purple (almost black, really) one at the same time, but he never wore it anymore.

Checking his phone for the time revealed it was eight, so he went downstairs as he sent Mer and Camicazi a message on their group chat saying he hated his family. It wasn't until he slid back into his seat that he realized he'd left his Rubik's cube upstairs, and he immediately wanted to go back to get it. He wouldn't, though. It was too late for that. He fiddled with his locket as he tuned into the conversation, trying to ignore the very loud sound of silverware clinking against plates. It seemed they were talking about the new family that was moving in next door, and Hiccup glanced towards the window despite knowing they weren't there yet. He wondered where they would be from, and a small flicker of hope lit inside him as he wondered if he could actually make a friend outside of the internet. The hope was quickly squashed, as he was sure that even if there _was_ someone around his age moving in next door, they would probably hate him like everyone else seemed to.

The conversation shifted to romance, and Hiccup rolled his eyes. He was about ninety-nine percent sure he was asexual and aromantic. Not that his family would know what that meant. Hookfang described his latest girlfriend rather vaguely before shrugging and saying they'd broken up because they had very different values. Before he could be questioned about that, someone redirected the conversation to Toothless, who could only shrug and say he hadn't found anyone. Hiccup felt the need to scratch his arms, not liking the feeling of the foreign hoodie he was wearing. Something about it made him uncomfortable, and he wasn't sure what. His uncle Spitelout laughed a short, harsh laugh, and Hiccup immediately dreaded the next words he would speak.

"As if there was any need to ask Stoick's kids about that." Oh dear. "They're the only faggots in town." Ah, there it was.

"Spitelout, that was uncalled for." Stoick glared at his brother.

"I call it like I see it." His eyes were directed at the sparkly pink headband Toothless wore.

"I'm not gay." Toothless stated, then shook his head. "And even if I was, you shouldn't have a problem with that." Of course, then the entire family felt the need to start arguing. What a nightmare.

'Ohhhhhh suffering scallops.' Thought Hiccup.

* * *

 ** _Word Count: 6,772_**

 **Fun fact:** 'Ohhhhhh suffering scallops.' Thought Hiccup. **is a direct quote from the book. Wodensfang's name is also from the book. Camicazi is also a book character, and ManMer's character (No-Name) is another reference to the book.**

 **I would like to say that in this modern AU, Hiccup is supposed to be autistic. Why? Because I wanted to. My reasoning is basically the same reasoning I would give if I just decided to make a character have a fondness for cats. Anyways, I have a friend with Asperger's and she wrote a smash bros fanfic called The Boy Behind the Hands with a protagonist that had Asperger's. I've also read multiple fanfics with autistic characters written by people who are autistic, and have researched the subject. I myself am not autistic, and I'm trying to be really careful about writing this because I don't want to misinterpret or misrepresent anything. As such, if you are autistic or are close to someone who is, please tell me if I'm writing anything wrong! I know Toothless hugging Hiccup without warning was kind of not recommended, but Hiccup is also undiagnosed, so while Toothless has picked up on some of his preferences and such, he doesn't actually know that he's autistic.**

 **If you think Hiccup is OOC, that's completely fair. Don't bother telling me that unless you are planning on giving me some advice to make him less so that fits with the story and his autism. As time progresses, he will probably act more like the Hiccup you guys know and love.**

 **There's a lot going on in this modern AU, really. I'm kind of nervous about posting it, because I don't see a lot of human!Toothless in modern AUs for some reason, much less the other dragons but I really wanted to personify them.**

 **If you've read some of my other stuff, you should know there is a mermaid AU that I'm going to be focusing on, but I want to post the first chapters of all my other planned stories before continuing that one. As such, this fic probably won't be updated until I finish the mermaid AU, but if you hang on tight you'll get more eventually :')**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next time! (whenever that may be...)**


	2. i'm so sorry honestly

**Hello, this is your author speaking, I'd like to apologize for posting one chapter and never continuing... I had like, big plans, but a lot of stuff has happened since then... I haven't been writing much at all, but I'm going to try to start again soon (original stuff though, sorry) and like, I'm in marching band and school is going to be starting and I have to apply to college and stuff... My depression also kinda spiked about 40 minutes ago (that's the main reason I'm writing this note honestly, I just feel like a horrible person) and I dunno if that's gonna stay like that or not... I really wish I could have the heart to continue these fics, but another thing about it is just... Like, I love How to Train Your Dragon. I never got to read all the books because my kindle hates me, but I own both of the movies and have watched the TV series multiple times over. So I love HTTYD, but I can't get invested in it anymore, because my girlfriend and I broke up and I just feel kind of awful about dating her in the first place now that I know I'm aromantic? I didn't realize it until after we broke up, and I just feel so bad for hurting her and stuff, she didn't deserve that and she was one of my best friends and now it just hurts to think of her, and I can't think about HTTYD without thinking about her because she was one of like, two people who read my HTTYD stuff... Anyways, that was kinda maybe tmi? But I wanted to let you guys know I guess...**

 **If that was too much reading for you, here's the short version: I can't bring myself to write for HTTYD anymore because of emotional ties I have to it.**

 **One day I might return to these fics? But I honestly don't know. Maybe when the next season of RTTE comes out I'll binge it like I did the previous season (which is what got me into writing How to Deal With Vikings in the first place) and make some new memories with the series. Maybe I won't. It all depends, I guess. That's all I really wanted to say really. But I'll respond to the one guest review I got.**

Heyyy: As someone with aspergers, I have to say that this is really accurate! Just remember that because autistic people are very different, they won't necessarily have all the symptoms, or share the exact same symptoms that other autistic people do (which you did fine on, but just remember for the future. Anyway, keep up the good work! :)

Response: It meant like, a lot to me to receive this review at the time, and I was actually like really happy? I wish I could find the drive to write more of this fic... But I dunno, I doubt you'll ever see this response because it's been almost 3 months. I wish I could respond to guest reviewers properly.


	3. Final Author's Note

**Hello. The last time I posted an author's note, I was a huge mess. I'm a lot better now, and a lot of things have changed. I don't really know if any of you care, but I've actually gotten over most everything that was weighing on me. Sexuality is a very fluid thing, and while I said I was aromantic last time, I've realized I'm not, and even though I don't really know what label to go with, I'm very happy with my boyfriend now. i've also moved past the mental roadblock I had with the HTTYD series, and have begun working more on my rewrite of How to Deal With Vikings.**

 **I'm still very fond of the idea of writing a modern AU for HTTYD with Hiccup being somewhere on the autistic spectrum, but there are a lot of things I don't like about the first chapter I wrote of this fic, and when I look at the outline I did I'm just really not a fan. I'm not going to be writing for it anymore, and when I do start another modern AU, I won't be considering it a rewrite of this. I'll leave this first chapter and A/Ns up, just know this specific fic won't be continued.**

 **Feel free to leave a review or PM me.**


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